Realizations...

So you know that song Realize by Colbie Caillat?

If you just realize what I just realized then we'd be perfect for each other
And we'll never find another J
ust realize what I just realized
We'd never have to wonder if we missed out on each other, now
Take time to realize...

Yes, that one. Well I heard it on the radio today and hearing the word realize about thirty times in a two minute period made me come to a lot of realizations of my own.

My biggest one, when did I become an "adult"?

That lead to a whole string of questions that I just don't know if I can answer.

When did I become responsible for everything? I realized this week if anything were to happen to my parents (God Forbid) I am the legal guardian of my brother. I am soley responsible for him if anything happens. Holy cow. They just sort of informed me of that, no questions asked. Of course I would do it, I would never not take my brother if something happened to my parents, but it was jolting nonetheless.

Since when am I old enough that I am the only one responsible enough to clean an apartment that holds between 3 and 5 people at any given time? Why am I the only one who buys a vacuum and uses it? That empties the dishwasher, puts dishes away, cleans the stove top, and organizes the common areas?

Since when am I old enough that I have to take care of people when they get too drunk? When they get sick or angry or out of line, when did I get old enough to be the one to stop the damage from happening?

Since when am I responsible for paying for everything, cars and gas and groceries and all the things "adults" have? Like a huge dental procedure that if my insurance bails on me for will send me into the red like no other?

When did I get old enough to realize one of the most important people in my life just has not been there for me latley and it hurts like hell? At one point I would have brushed it off, made excuses for her (she's busy, working, figuring life out...), but now... now it is just a kick in the stomach everytime I think about it or someone else mentions it.

Since when am I old enough for a reunion tour of one of my favorite childhood bands? (see; "backstreet boys")

When did I get old enough to worry? To get my heart broken? To fall for someone? To be soley responsible for myself and those around me?

When the hell did I become an adult and why am I just realizing this now...?